Cyberbullying is a unique kind of harassment. Unlike traditional bullying, which often occurs in a physical location, cyberbullying can happen anytime, anywhere. It invades not just our schools but our homes, following children into spaces that should feel safe. The result? A constant feeling of unease and often debilitating anxiety that doesn’t end with the school day.
As a psychiatrist, I see firsthand how cyberbullying impacts young patients. It’s not just “digital drama” or a phase; it’s a persistent form of abuse that leaves psychological scars. Cyberbullying has been associated with increased risks of anxiety, depression, sleep disturbances, and even suicidal thoughts in some cases.
Bystanders vs. Upstanders: A Critical Difference
When cyberbullying occurs, there are generally three types of people involved: the bully, the victim, and the bystanders. However, there’s a fourth role that’s just as crucial: the upstander. An upstander is a bystander who chooses to step in and take action rather than staying silent.
Bystanders may feel that staying quiet is a way to avoid conflict, but in doing so, they unintentionally allow the bullying to continue. Upstanders, on the other hand, offer support to the victim, report the incident, or discourage the bully, showing compassion and reinforcing that cyberbullying is unacceptable. Not only is this important for healthy social media interactions, but skills such as communicating assertively, demonstrating empathy, and asking for help are undeniably valuable for transitioning to adulthood.
The Importance of Empathy and Early Intervention
Many young people are unsure of how to respond when they see a peer being cyberbullied. They may feel angry, powerless or worry about becoming targets themselves. This is where empathy training and open discussions can make a real difference. When schools and parents encourage kids to consider how it might feel to be in the victim’s shoes, they’re more likely to become upstanders.
I personally advocate for early intervention as a critical approach. By empowering students to speak up, we can mitigate some of the psychological damage inflicted by cyberbullying. Upstanders send a strong message to both the bully and the victim: bullying isn’t tolerated, and there are people willing to help.
Turning Bystanders into Upstanders: Practical Steps
Encouraging young people to become upstanders requires guidance and support from both parents and educators. Here are a few effective approaches:
● Appreciate the Nuances: Sometimes, well-meaning adults suggest kids simply stay away from social media. However, this may predispose the bystander to feeling more confused and socially isolated. Instead, invite the youth into a conversation about the complexities of online social engagement.
● Teach Kids How to Support Victims: Encourage kids to reach out to victims privately, offering a supportive message. Even a simple “I’m here for you” can make a world of difference to someone who feels isolated.
● Model Upstander Behavior: Parents, teachers, and even mental health professionals should demonstrate how to intervene appropriately. Kids often mimic adult behavior, so if they see adults addressing conflict or mistreatment directly, they’re more likely to do the same.
● Discuss Safe Ways to Take Action: Not all interventions need to be confrontational. Reporting the incident anonymously, standing beside the victim, or sharing resources about cyberbullying are powerful, safe ways to take a stand.
● Build Resilience in Victims and Upstanders Alike: Encouraging resilience can help victims recover more effectively and upstanders feel empowered to act. Resilience training focuses on handling rejection, building self-worth, and creating a supportive social network.
Conclusion: The Collective Responsibility to Combat Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying can be devastating, but the influence of upstanders provides a powerful tool for prevention and recovery. Mental health professionals are there to guide young people, helping equip them with the tools and confidence they need as they grow. Schools, families, and communities should all work together to encourage empathy, responsibility, and action in the face of cyberbullying. Together, we can build a digital environment where students not only feel safer but are empowered to make a positive difference.